But she could never deny that she loved him and would most likely never love someone else so deeply for as long as she lived. She had to leave, force herself to go away and deny the deeply engrained urge to be with him. He had become her addiction. Pairen knew that he had already come to the realization of what she was about to do. It was his sixth sense, to know her better than she knew herself. She could tell in the sadness of his eyes, by the extra love he attempted to lavish on her as well as his increased physical presence. Even his touch was a plea. But, she had to do this. She was dying inside. She was becoming nothing but him. When he left her, not just in body or mind, but in soul—even for a moment, she became nothing. And, she had done this willingly, without thinking, only loving. What else do you have to give a man after you have given your all and he is still not yours? This is what she thought, when she opened her eyes and reached out her arm. His space in their bed. Whatever it was made her laugh, and she stepped over in front of him. It left Julian about boob-high to Harper. He knew what to do about that. I drew a breath sharply when he latched on to my daughter. Harper’s hands behind his head that held him tight said she wanted exactly what he was doing.After a moment or two Julian stood up and they kissed. It was a long kiss. I couldn’t see exactly from where I was but Julian appeared to be hard. And why wouldn’t he be hard, kissing Harper. I was hard watching them. I saw Harper pat the side of the hot tub where the deck was flush with the edge. Julian shifted over and spread his legs, and Harper knelt in front of him.I could only see Harper’s broad smooth back and her curly hair, but the way she bobbed her head and the way Julian had his head thrown back told me everything I needed to know.Our children were having sex. Well, not “our” children in the literal sense. Harper is my child with Sarah. Julian is Fredericka’s son, father unknown..
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